The Absolute Wrong Way to Stop Ransomware and Hacking

 

Just when I thought the idiocy on this topic had reached its pinnacle, I was proven wrong yet again.

See today’s FT “White House implores businesses to strengthen ransomware defence”

The word “implores” particularly set me off.

Then I thought a bit more and remembered—or at least I think I do—how this sort of decisive approach has been successful in the past.

Here are just two examples:

1. Following an appeal from the SEC a few years back, the incidence of financial fraud and market manipulation in the USA has dropped dramatically. As has insider trading.
2. After both my wife and I implored the little ones who live with us to eat healthy for their own good, we’re no longer asked for cookies or ice cream. Both grandmothers have reskilled and are now bringing vegetables when they visit.

While there has been no reaction yet, I’m confident that my letter to the President Biden and Senator McConnell is about to usher in an era of bipartisanship not seen since “peace guided the planets and love steered the stars”.

Naysayers out there might comment that business with few exceptions has been asleep at the switch so long now, that it’s almost certain that they don’t have a clue where the switch is. Or what it does. Or how to operate it.

Or that imploring the habitually somnolent and negligent to “take action”--particularly when the action involves spending money—has not proven to be particularly efficacious.

They’re wrong as demonstrated above.

Though I will admit that it seems strange to call the addressees on the memo business “leaders”.

One final note.

If you’ve been inspired by this blogpost and want to establish peace in the Middle East, on the Korean Peninsula, or in the Gulf, please feel free to direct your own memo imploring the parties to take action.

I won’t mind.

I had intended to do all those things myself.

But currently I am focused on learning Romulan to write the memo that will "fix” any dangers to our way of life from UFOs. I think we’re not far enough into the season that it would be the Borg.

Kumbaya!

Bonus Gratuitous Snark

Some further thoughts that occurred to me after I first posted the above.

Additional rather sad conclusions that have to be drawn from this episode.

First, the memo contains 5 recommendations for action that might charitably be described as the blindingly obvious.  Things equivalent to lock your doors, don't run with scissors.

Hardly, the sort of advice that captains of industry should need to receive for two reasons.

• The advice given isn't rocket or computer science.  Just common sense steps. 
• The warning should not be necessary, they should know this already.

If they missed either or both of these points, it's pretty clear that they need to step aside for those with the aptitude and attitude required to do the job.

The memo is a damning assessment of the calibre of our business tycoons. 

Though to be fair that assessment is supported by successful ransomware attacks on companies who did not lock their doors, etc. and the woeful lack of preparation at other firms as noted in my earlier post.

Second, but it's not just the captains of industry who are in for criticism.  

What does it say about the US Government? 

As my mentor used to say "you can tell you're in a third world country, when problems are addressed through rhetoric rather than concrete action".