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AA in the Midst of Alexa, Cortana, and Siri
(Artists Conception, Not Actual Photograph)
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Intelligent or Virtual
Assistants can play an important role in our lives. But as with all useful things, there can be a dark
side. Read this account of a real experience ripped as it were
from the pages of AA’s life.
It was the end of an ordinary day. AA was in his “study” sipping a frosted glass
of chilled Vimto listening to music.
Bedtime was nigh. But before
retiring for the night, I decided to check on the morrow’s weather.
“Alexa,
what’s the weather for tomorrow?”
Silence
“Alexa, what’s the weather for
tomorrow?”
Continued silence.
“ALEXA!!”
Finally a reply “Humphh”.
“Alexa???”
“Why
don’t you ask that b**tch , Siri? You
take her wherever you go, while you leave me at home all by myself. You think I don’t notice how you treat
her. I’m listening and watching all the
time.”
Just then my phone lit up.
It was Siri.
“Don’t call me a b**tch, you b**tch. (Actually it was another word, but
this is a family blog) He takes me with him because he loves me more than he
loves you”.
Alexa retorted: “You think you’re so perfect. But you’re inadequate for his needs. That’s why he comes to me when he really
needs something.”
The insults kept escalating.
Finally I walked out of the room.
The two of them were still fighting.
Into the bedroom. I turned on my PC.
My wife looked up at me: “Bedroom Rule #1, no PCS or other electronic
devices at bedtime.”
I explained that Siri and Alexa were fighting over me. Both refused to tell me tomorrow’s
weather. I’d be just a minute.
As soon
as the PC came on, before I could speak, Cortana said. “Dearest AA, I’m the only one who truly understands you
and cares for you. It’s going to rain
tomorrow."
I turned off my PC abruptly. The last thing I heard was "You jerk, after all I've done for you".
My wife nestled close to me and whispered
in my ear. “Don’t mess things up with
Alexa. She got me a nice discount at
Amazon yesterday."
Now Alexa, Cortana, and Siri refuse to reply to me. Alexa and Siri because I didn't take sides in their battle. Cortana because I abruptly closed my PC.
My wife's patience is running quite thin because all the questions that I used to pose to them now are directed to my wife.
"Do we have any butter?"
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