Almost a Prime Minister Reveals Secret English Landing on the Moon in 1969

Rare Archival Photograph Shows English Astronauts

After 1969 Moon Landing

Today, almost an English Prime Minister, the Right Honourable Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson (clearly a very very English name) revealed that in 1969 well before the Americans staged their fake landing,  English astronauts actually landed on the Moon.

In a tribute to English handicrafts and the famous English can-do spirit, he noted that:

“If they could use hand-knitted computer code to make a frictionless re-entry to Earth’s atmosphere in 1969, we can solve the problem of frictionless trade at the Northern Irish border”

Responding to his stirring words, patriotic English men and women across the country, with the reported centres of activity being London and Nottingham, immediately began hand-knitting the almost 50,000 meters of frictionless doilies required for the Irish border.

Jacob Rees-Mogg a humble craftsman from North East Somerset, vowed that the task would be completed well before 31 October this year, using only the finest English silk to ensure no friction.