Thursday 24 December 2009

Dubai Assumes Leadership Role in Tackling Global Financial Crisis

(The following article has been prepared according to press guidelines at "Gulf News" for reporting on the non-crisis in Dubai. Delay in publication resulted from the normal review process to ensure that the article did not contain any deviant or incorrect thoughts).

14 December 2009 – Dateline Dubai, United Arab Emirates

Under the patronage of the wise and benevolent leadership of the Emirate of Dubai, the Government of Dubai graciously hosted a meeting for international bankers still reeling from the effects of the global financial crisis. While the meeting was called in part to afford international bankers an opportunity to enjoy the much warmer climes of Dubai during this winter season, the meeting had a much more serious purpose.

As a leading global financial centre, Dubai and its progressive leadership are well aware of the responsibilities such an unrivaled status places on their capable shoulders. Therefore, Dubai World took the unprecedented step of advising its creditors at this meeting that it was willing to extend the repayment tenor of its obligations. This generous sacrifice is being made in view of the desperate need of international and local creditors for high quality earning assets, saddled as they are with poor underwriting decisions made outside the UAE. A Dubai World spokesman was reported to have said that while this step was perhaps inconvenient for Dubai World and its subsidiaries "the decision was sound and favours all parties in long term and not short term as Dubai World Group has strategic projects."

Not unexpectedly, creditor response was enthusiastic.

One unnamed European banker said, "GLOBAL crisis or not, Dubai has done it again. It has once again shown the world, beyond doubt, its ability and willingness not only to meet its obligations but any challenge to its unrivalled status as the most dynamic global financial and trading hub in the Gulf region."

Another grateful banker noted: 'Usually, each of the world's countries has an icon to be proud of. Dubai has many, such as Burj Dubai, Burj Al Arab, Dubai Mall, as well as Dubai International Airport and the Emirates Airlines which are seen as major drivers for tourism."

A local banker from Dubai commented: "People try to pelt stones or anything else within their reach at a fruit bearing tree. Then how it will be when we have seven fruit-bearing trees or more? It is natural that we are exposed to all these exaggerations, which are far from reality".

One US investment firm with a sizeable position in Nakheel sukuks said: "However, the markets might react, this is Dubai we are talking about. An emirate that has redefined the terms "vision" and "ambition" for the world, which has given it the tallest tower, the largest mall, the tallest hotel, the largest man-made harbour and, in-the-making, the world's largest airport, among a host of other marvels. It has a track-record second to none. Dubai is one of the foremost centres of world gold trade and has indeed been gaining in importance as the preferred global destination for tourism, entrepot, real estate and construction activity, especially over the past three decades."

A banker with a faint Scots burr in his voice remarked: "The Dubai dream lives on. If anything, this latest episode is a sign of Dubai's economic maturity, a clear conscience and commercial intent." In a culturally uncharacteristic bit of loqaciousness, he continued: "Dubai World's debts are small and some companies have been saddled with debts more heavier than tnose of the Dubai Group."

Finally, another banker from Dubai neatly summed up the consensus of attendees at the meeting: "And I want to tell those people who nag about Dubai and Abu Dhabi to shut up."

(Editor's note: All quotes are actual verbatim statements made by various parties and reported in the press, though attribution may vary from that in the original reports).

2 comments:

hut said...

LOL! a second career as satirist beckons ?!

Abu 'Arqala said...

How can you be sure that I am not serious?

Wait till you see my positive spin on the DFM decline.

Soon I may have that apartment at the Palm - but one on a high floor, a very high floor.